The Things He Does
by All-About-That-Ace
Summary: In which Uther encounters enchanted!Arthur before Merlin does. "So what you're saying, is that the only way to break this enchantment is to convince him he is under a spell." Set during season 2 "Sweet Dreams" rated for language. edited 3/29/12


**A/N:** This popped into my head one day and never left, so I decided to write it out so it'll leave me alone.

**EDIT: **So, someone pointed out to me that Arthur and Merlin never mentioned the horrible things Arthur had yelled in the post-spell conversation, and I was all for just telling people to assume that Gaius had explained everything. But then I decided to tweak it a bit. Anyway, the editing begins after "Arthur waited a beat before he heard the lock click. When it didn't open, he assumed he was meant to go inside and pushed the door open. Merlin was lying on his bed, staring determinedly at the ceiling." It's nothing major, but still. JSYK.

**Timeline:** AU of 2x10 _Sweet Dreams_

**Warnings: **language

**Pairings: **none

**Disclaimer:** It's not mine. It never has been and never will be. Now stop making me say it.

**Summary: **In which Uther encounters enchanted!Arthur before Merlin does. "So what you're saying, is that the only way to break this enchantment is to convince him he is under a spell."

— — —

The king looked at his son, drugged and sleeping on his bed, and wondered once again why someone would do this.

"So what you're saying, Gaius," he said as he turned to his most trusted advisor, "is that the only way to break this enchantment, is to have him kiss someone he'd truly loved before he was bewitched, or to convince him he is under a spell."

Though it was said more as a statement then a question, Gaius answered, "Yes, my lord."

Uther knew his son was not in love with anyone—Arthur would've asked for permission to marry, as he'd done with that Sophia woman, if he was—and so he was left with only one option.

"Well then." His expression became determined and he clapped his hands. "Let's get started."

— — —

This was going nowhere fast. No matter what Uther or Gaius said, no matter what evidence they presented, no matter what logic they implemented, Arthur simply refused to believe he wasn't in love with Lady Vivian.

"You frequently referred to her as 'spoiled'," Gaius had reminded the prince.

"That was before I'd gotten to know her."

"There was a lock of Lady Vivian's hair under your pillow," Uther informed his son.

"I have no idea how that got there, but I'd rather like to keep it."

"And I discovered a potion on your eyelid," Gaius continued, ignoring Arthur's words for the moment. "Combined with the lock of hair, it makes a very powerful enchantment designed to bewitch a person to fall in love in their sleep with the person whose hair is beneath their pillow."

"Lies!" Arthur had insisted. "All lies! You just don't want us to be together."

"You had always _hated_ her company before!" Uther had shouted in desperation.

"I didn't know how to deal with my feelings." Well, if he'd needed anymore evidence that his son was enchanted, it was Arthur uttering that sentence.

The king turned from his son, bound to a chair, and gestured Gaius closer. "I fear it's no use. He'll never believe us. Is there no other way?"

"None that I am aware of, I'm afraid," Gaius answered. "I will have to do more research." Uther nodded as the physician headed for the door. "I shall inform Merlin not to let Arthur leave the room."

Merlin? Who in the hell was 'Merlin'? "Who?" Uther asked. Gaius stopped, turning around, but it was Arthur who answered.

"My manservant, Merlin," he said loudly from his chair. "Clumsy, big ears, ridiculous grin. He saved my life, remember? And claimed to be a sorcerer to save Guinevere, and stopped me from…" Arthur trailed off, hanging his head. "From…. A few weeks ago… with the sorceress? And my… and my mother?"

Ah yes, _that_ one. So his name was 'Merlin'. Hmm. You learned something new everyday.

Perhaps Merlin should be given a chance to convince his son of the enchantment? He had been able to convince Arthur of Morgause's deceit when Uther had been unable to, (and God, did that hurt, when a common servant was able to sway Arthur's opinion where Uther had failed), and the boy had proven to be a trusted ally in the fight against magic, not to mention the fierce loyalty he held toward his son.

"If that is all, sire?" Gaius questioned from his position by the door.

"No," Uther whispered to him. "Send for Merlin. He shall have the chance to speak to Arthur."

_This had better work._

— — —

"My lord?" The servant cautiously entered the room, all limbs and ears and cheekbones to cut glass. Gaius moved to stand beside him and Merlin shifted slightly when Uther didn't reply.

Arthur knew his father would be quite glad to watch Merlin stew for a while, and so decided to speak up;

"Merlin! Oh, thank god. Could you please tell them that I'm not enchanted?" Arthur asked, ignoring Merlin's incredulous look when he saw his master tied to a chair. He would deal with that later. At the moment he needed Merlin to untie him so he could be with his beloved Vivian.

Uther drew Merlin into a corner, presumably to insist that Arthur was indeed enchanted, as Gaius tried his hand at talking to Arthur again. The prince ignored him, instead watching his father speak to his servant, who nodded once and bowed. Arthur tried to ignore the petulant voice in the back of his head that whined very loudly about how Merlin never bowed to _him_, unless of course he was being sarcastic, and how one could even _bow_ _sarcastically_ still eluded him, but somehow Merlin managed it.

Merlin turned to his prince, pulling up a chair and sitting down. "Arthur," Merlin said, and behind him, Uther frowned at the informal address. "Remember Valiant and his magic shield?" Arthur nodded and wondered what the dead man had to do with anything. "Remember when I brought you the snake's head? I told you I would never lie to you, I _swore_ that what I was saying was true, and you believed me. Do you remember?"

Certainly, he remembered. He remembered it rather vividly, since less than an hour later he was being humiliated by his own father, who thought Arthur had been afraid to duel the other knight. He had been furious. He had believed his servant—who had no reason to do such a thing to him, though he admittedly had even less reason to want to help him with all the crap Arthur put him through—and had been disgraced for his troubles. Arthur remembered feeling so wretched that he'd fired Merlin on the spot. Of course, Merlin had been right in the end and everyone else had looked stupid for not believing him, but that part was unimportant.

"Yes," Arthur answered simply, getting some idea of where this was going.

"Well, I still would never lie to you, and I swear I'm speaking the truth, so please believe me now when I tell you that you do not love Lady Vivian." And there it was.

"_Mer_lin," Arthur said patronisingly, "I think I know what I feel better than you do."

"_Ar_thur," Merlin said just as patronizingly, "I think I know when you're enchanted better than you do. Trust me, you get enchanted an awful lot."

"Like when?" Arthur scoffed. He was pretty sure he'd know when he was ensorcelled. He'd been warned of magic often enough.

"Remember Sophia and how you wanted to marry her?" Arthur cringed. He had no idea how that had happened. Why in God's name had he wanted to marry that girl? He'd only just met her; didn't even know her…. Uhg. Vivian was much better. So pretty. Pretty, pretty Vivian. "Now remember how you woke up and had absolutely no idea what you'd been thinking?"

Arthur waited for Merlin to continue. "_Yes_," he replied when it became obvious that the servant was actually waiting for an answer.

"Enchanted." Uh… _huh_. Well, that explained a few things, especially the dreams he'd had of Merlin shouting that Sophia and her father were magical beings while Arthur stood by, disbelieving. And then something about drowning. And then Sophia exploded. That last part had to be a dream—people don't just explode—but apparently the rest had happened. Merlin had warned him of something that he didn't believe and then Merlin was, of course, proven right.

They both ignored Uther's fuming as Merlin continued; "And though you were more manipulated than enchanted, there was also Morgause." Arthur cringed again. He hated remembering that episode. He'd almost killed his father over the word of a sorceress. _A sorceress_. Thank God for Merlin and his inability to not interfere, because if he hadn't, Arthur would've never forgiven himself, but Merlin had; he'd spoken up and Uther had been given the chance to speak and Merlin was shown to be right again. Of course.

— — —

Uther watched and listened as the boy—Merlin—spoke to his son. Ignoring the fact that he was displaying far to much familiarity—and he _would_ be having a discussion with Arthur about allowing such informality from a servant—it looked as if the boy was making progress.

Apparently, Merlin had several instances in his memories of 'I told you so' moments. Now, that's not to say Uther didn't have any, and God knows Gaius had quite a few, but they had always told Arthur something reasonable that the prince had actually known for himself, he just hadn't wanted to listen. Things like "drink this tonic" and "that sword is too big for you". Merlin, on the other hand, had warned Arthur of completely ludicrous things, like "don't shoot the unicorn" and "your new servant is possessed by the spirit of a long-dead sorcerer out for revenge" and more recently, (and more shamefully), "your father's fiancée is a troll". Warnings no sane person would ever take to heart. Warnings Arthur _hadn't_ taken to heart. Warnings that were later proven correct, as evidenced by the famine and the animated gargoyles and….

Yes… well. _-cough-_ Moving on.

Uther listened as his son's servant brought up each and every time he'd ever augured something that Arthur had waved off, only for Merlin to later be proven correct.

Things were going well. Merlin's tactics were working. Arthur was listening.

And then the spell revolted.

— — —

Gaius watched as Arthur went from listening calmly, if a bit insincerely, to screaming at Merlin—shouting such awful things about how the manservant didn't understand love or he wouldn't be acting like this, how he was simply jealous that no one loved him, how he should just crawl back to the pathetic village he'd spawned from—all the while calling him every name he knew and quite a few Gaius was certain Merlin had taught him.

The old physician knew it was because of the enchantment that Arthur was being so hateful, he knew it was because the spell was so close to breaking that it was now forcing Arthur to drive away the person loosening its hold, but Merlin didn't, and Gaius watched as each new slur dug its way under his skin and burrowed there, festering.

Gaius watched as Merlin sat before his prince, stoically listening to the hatred pouring from his mouth.

Gaius watched as Merlin snapped.

— — —

"_SHUT UP!_" Merlin roared, jumping to his feet and only just keeping his magic in check. God, you try to help a guy and this is what you get. "Shut _up_, Arthur! You have no idea _what_ you're talking about, so for the love of all that is good in the world; _shut up_."

Arthur fell silent from shock (and perhaps bit of magic, but just a bit) as Merlin—sweet, kind, accommodating Merlin—tore into him with a rage the sorcerer himself did not know he possessed.

"_God_ you're so arrogant to assume that just because what I say is different from what you think, I'm automatically wrong. Well, I'm pretty sure the citizens who died because you never heed my warnings would disagree if they had the chance." Arthur flinched violently at the reminder, but Merlin was beyond noticing, beyond caring. He was going to get this through Arthur's thick skull if it killed them all.

"It's no wonder people are always giving me their sympathy for having to put up with you. It's no wonder the other servants give me extra food for being the only person in this entire damn kingdom to call you on your crap. Even Morgana has given up on doing that, have you noticed? Because you never listen but, stupidly, I just keep trying."

Arthur opened his mouth to say something, but Merlin just shouted over him; "You don't even notice _half_ the things I do for you and I do _so goddamned much_. And I'm not even talking about all the extra chores you give me that other servants don't have to do like washing your laundry and caring for your horses like the laundry mistress and the stable hands are meant to do. Let's list the other things I do for you, shall we?

"Let's see, there's the poison I drank, the lake Sophia tried to _drown you in _that I pulled you out of, the sword I had commissioned for you to fight the wraith with, the challenge in the Labyrinth of Gedref I helped you with, the antidote I got for your Questing Beast bite that I had to _trade my life for_—and the _only_ reason I'm not dead now is because I killed the sorceress who gave me the antidote when she tried to kill Gaius—but I digress. Let's continue."

Merlin relished the look on Arthur's face; a combination of stunned and absolutely agonized. _That's right, _he thought, feeling vindicated. _I willingly trade my life for yours and you yell at me that no one loves me. Suffer._

"There was the giant boar Cedric-slash-Sigan claimed to slay that I actually killed, the wildren I faced with you during your rescue attempt, the troll, and, I'll say it again, Morgause. All of that. All of that, I faced for you or with you or _instead of you_, and what happens? Do I get a '_thanks_'? A '_well done_'? No. Instead, you ignore me, you abuse me, you _arrest_ me, and you pile on _even more chores_.

"Even now with this love spell—_and there is a love spell, don't dispute it_," Merlin ordered firmly, finger pointing in Arthur's face when the nobleman opened his mouth. "With this love spell that is in no way more ridiculous than my warnings about Cedric-Sigan, you disregard it. Disregard _me_.

"Goddamn it, Arthur, don't you realize the things I do for you? I place you above everything, above Camelot, above _myself_, and all I get is grief. When have I ever done something to hurt you? To deny you happiness?" Merlin's audience gaped at him, stunned. "_When, Arthur Pendragon?_"

Merlin stared at Arthur long and hard, his bright blue eyes boring into those of his master, who found himself unable to answer. Merlin leaned forward, maintaining eye-contact and bringing their faces so close together that Uther was almost ready to reconsider those rumours that the two were sleeping together. "Why should now be any different?"

Merlin's voice was broken, pleading, and it shook Arthur at his core.

"I—" He paused for a moment, stopped cold by the look in his friend's eyes, all pain and desperation and fear. "I'm enchanted… aren't I?"

Merlin smiled sadly. "Yeah."

— — —

As Arthur was stopped before Olaf discovered the threat to his daughter's virtue, the kings all went in peace, even Alined, though his Trickler was forced to run home or risk having his arms torn off by his king's horse.

The treaty was signed, the summit was done, the crown prince was cured, and Merlin was locked in his room. He'd stormed through the castle the moment he was certain Arthur's enchantment had been broken and hadn't come out since. Three days ago.

Arthur was quite certain he wouldn't have left even for food, though thanks to Gaius, there was no need for him to do so, anyway.

Arthur knew why Merlin had locked himself away. He remembered everything from the moment Gaius's drug had worn off; he knew the horrible things he'd yelled at his servant, but Arthur wasn't sure what to do about it.

Morgana, who didn't know what had happened, only that Merlin hadn't left his room and it was all Arthur's fault, had suggested—rather insistently—that Arthur talk to Merlin soon. And by "suggested" he meant "ordered", and by "soon" he meant "right fucking now, Arthur Pendragon, or I will shave your head in your sleep".

Vividly remembering the last time he'd tried to call one of Morgana's bluffs only to find out that it wasn't actually a bluff, Arthur knocked on Merlin's door.

And was promptly ignored.

Arthur wasn't sure what to do. He'd never been ignored. Ever. In his life. How was he meant to make amends and save his hair if Merlin ignored him? Should he just yell through the door? That wouldn't work. Unless he was trying to inspire his knights, Arthur was barely eloquent at the best of times. If he tried to offer Merlin some type of apology or explanation or whatever it was he was meant to be doing, through a door…. No. He would keep getting distracted by the fact that he was talking to a door instead of his annoying manservant.

"Damn it, Merlin!" Arthur shouted. "Just open the door! You know I'm not good with words."

Arthur waited a beat before he heard the lock click. When it didn't open, he assumed he was meant to go inside and pushed the door open. Merlin was lying on his bed, staring determinedly at the ceiling.

"I didn't mean anything I said." Arthur figured he might as well get that out of the way before delving into why he'd said such awful things.

"I know," Merlin replied simply, completely wrecking Arthur's plan of making some long detailed speech about the effects of the spell. Merlin continued to stare at the ceiling. "Gaius explained."

And now Arthur was officially confused. Why the hell hadn't Merlin left his room if he'd known that all the horrible things shouted at him was the result of sorcery? Was he expecting an apology? Because he wasn't going to get one. It wasn't Arthur's fault that he'd yelled such hateful things. Hell, he never apologized when something _was_ his fault (as was his birthright), damned if he was going to say sorry for something a spell had caused.

Arthur thought back to that day when Merlin had yelled at him like he'd never been yelled at before and finally came up with why his servant was still so angry with him. Arthur had been so focused on the things _he'd_ said, he had completely disregarded everything _Merlin_ had said as a reason for him being mad.

And now Arthur was going to have to admit to a fault. _Damn it._

"You know I'm not good with words," Arthur repeated, deciding the silence had stretched on long enough.

"I know," Merlin said, his voice soft as he continued to avoid Arthur's gaze.

"So bear with me, because I'm only going to say this once." Merlin finally deigned to look at his prince, sitting up on his bed when he heard the slightly awkward tone. "You were right. You are always right, about _everything_, and I should learn to listen to you more and to appreciate the things you do for me above and beyond your duties." Merlin continued to stare and Arthur hoped to God the other man wasn't expecting some sort of uncharacteristic, spur-of-the-moment, epic speech.

"Thank you," Merlin eventually muttered, nodding his head respectfully. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Arthur nodded back, still feeling awkward but oh so thankful that Merlin was returning to work and his hair had been saved, and turned to leave. He stopped at the doorway as he remembered something. "Ah, yes, one more thing." He turned back to face Merlin, who had cocked his head inquisitively. "My father and I wish to reward you for breaking the enchantment. Is there anything specific you would like?"

Merlin thought for a moment. "A mattress."

"A mattress?" Arthur repeated flatly. _Really?_

"Yes." Merlin nodded emphatically. "A really good one with down feathers. And a matching pillow."

"You want… _a mattress?_" Arthur couldn't wrap his head around it. Merlin could've asked for anything—land, money, jewels—and he wanted a mattress. _Well, all right then. _"Fine. I'll have someone come in and measure your bed frame so—"

"Not for me," Merlin interrupted. "For Gaius." _Huh?_ "He's not exactly young anymore. He needs a nice bed. He's been a good friend to everyone and a great physician for longer than you've been alive and he still sleeps on a thin cot because he refuses to switch beds with me. So yeah. I want a mattress for Gaius."

_How… very like you, Merlin_. "All right, then. A mattress for Gaius." Arthur shook his head disbelievingly as he left to do his training. Merlin would never stop surprising him.

Somehow, Arthur was sure he wouldn't want him to.

— — —

**A/N:** So yeah. I think it could've been better, but whatever.

And the mattress thing was originally going to be some sort of drabble-y one-shot where Merlin asks Uther and Uther's like, "You are a strange one, aren't you?" But no; I decided I could fit it in here and I went for it. And it was good.

Also, I don't quite like the title. If you have any suggestions, feel free to share.

So, review please! Or I'll get paranoid that the story sucks.

**Random Story Suggestions: **Ok, I don't know the author (because I'm horrible like that), but _Like Breathing Underwater_ (found here on FF), is a fantastic Merlin/Arthur story following major points in their relationship from the moment they met to the Labyrinth of Gedref. It's fun and sweet and I love it. It's completely sans smut, though. JSYK.

Also, if slash doesn't float your boat, the story _Cripple _(again, don't know the author, but this story is also found on FF) is a hilarious friendship story set in future Camelot where Arthur's king and Merlin's free to use his magic. It's tells of how Merlin got his all-powerful magical staff. And it's adorable.


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